True Tales of VOWS to the Rescue!

Bridesmaid:  My dress zipper broke and I got blood on it trying to pin it.

VOWS:  Sewing kit and Shout Wipe to the rescue!

Bride:  I HATE my hair and can’t get married looking like this! 

VOWS:  A few pins, a fresh flower, food and a BIG drink.  Problem solved.

Groom:  I forgot to pick up Poco the Chihuahua Ring Bearer! OMG, Poco, the one thing she wanted today!

VOWS:  Key please and the VOWS assisant is off to the client’s apartment to retrieve said dog.  Bride is none the wiser.

Groomsman:  I can’t roll joints on the cake table and eat the cake during the ceremony?

VOWS:  Cake rotates 180 degrees, “mess” cleaned from table, and cab for one for the other “mess” (with the client’s permission, of course).

Bride:  No! It’s raining and I’m about to walk down the aisle outside!

VOWS:  Cut to VOWS assistant running to Target to get umbrellas for all the guests and bridal party.

Groomsmen: We’re supposed to have this space reserved in this park, but there are a bunch of squatters that won’t move their blankets.

VOWS:  Parks department call and some individual “requests” solve the problem…eventually.

Mother of the Bride: The church lady is having a meltdown and is making the bride cry, won’t let the photographer shoot in the sanctuary, etc.

VOWS:  Negotiation with said church lady about it being the bride’s day and offering “help” (i.e. lining everyone up and working directly with the officiant.) I told the photographer just to do “what he has to do” to get the shots the client wants.  They have a beautiful album today.

Bride:  I forgot my dance dress for our ballroom number!  (10PM night-of wedding)

VOWS:  Cut to busting into the bride’s parents’ home in Laurelhurst, digging through a closet, and racing back to the reception in Capitol Hill.

Caterer:  200 people in line at the bar for their first drink (2nd bartender flaked last minute).

VOWS:  Red or white? 

Bride:  My grandma is upset she doesn’t have a corsage.  Crap! I should have splurged more on the flowers!

VOWS:  Hello hotel lobby centerpiece!  You won’t miss one flower will you?  Some tape and a pin means one happy granny!